Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Well, it has been a while. Allot has been going on. I have also been very tired. I just wanted to mention because I did not in my first post, I am married. I am married to a wonderful man who does a great job taking care of the things I cannot, which is pretty much everything. He cleans, does laundry, takes care of the animals and allot more. He is very understanding and patient. None of the severe issues I have now were apparent before we decided to get married. He could have said any of these issues were deal breakers and left and I would not have held it against him. However, so far so good and I am very thankful.

I did go to the Dr, and I have started back on remicade. I had one treatment and go for another one this Friday. I have mixed feelings about being back on it. I am mostly scared it will not work anymore. And through all the changing of meds and being on and off meds I noticed something, and I notice it more with the remicade. When I am not on meds (TNF Blockers) I am in pain, allot of pain. It gets worse the longer I am not on medicine ( obviously except pain medicine, I am always on that) BUT: my head is so much more clear, and I have energy. I cannot do much because the pain limits me, but I am able to think more clearly and get things done more effectively. When I am on a TNF blocker, the pain is much less, but I am so tired I can barely get out of bed. I have the worst headaches more frequently, and I do not get much done at all, I really sleep allot. My thoughts are less complete and I have noticed difficulty in carrying on conversations much more. I lose track of my train of thought.

Through out the past 10 years I have also gained about 120lbs. Most through my own carelessness and some I blame on the steroids and birth control. (because of the methotrexate I have to be on birth control, that medicine causes spontaneous abortion or severe birth defects) And I can only assume that the extra weight is not helping me feel better at all. I have been trying to lose weight. This opens a whole new can of worms.

I have difficulty exercising due to pain, moving is supposed to help loosen your joints and make you feel better, exercise for me makes it much worse. I feel it more in my muscles and tendons. So i did not really attempt to lose weight because how could I? I could not exercise. That was how I stayed fit before, I ate what i wanted, and exercised my little heart out. Well I was in my latest favorite place, the local antique store. ( i wish i could buy everything in there) and I was talking to the owner about how I could not exercise because of the pain, and he told me about how he also could not exercise because of various joint replacements and pain, and that he had lost 70lbs just watching what he ate. Well, if he could do it, I think I can do it. I had tried it about 2 weeks before Christmas. I did an "uneducated my version" of Atkins and lost 9 lbs, then we went back to New York for Christmas and I have gained 7 lbs back. But now that we are back in Arizona, I will start back on my weight reduction journey. It was nice to see all our family and enjoy such great food and company. I do not think it will be easy, but it is something that I have to do, IF it will make me feel even just 20% better, that would be a huge improvement.

Well thank you for checking in, and I will try to post more frequently.. Its my new year resolution. (not really, I hate those) I will keep you all updated on the arthritis situation and if i make any headway in the weight loss area also.

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